Darkling, I Listen
by Tanpopo
Summary: Heero is surprised one night as his braided roommate starts to talk in his sleep...


This is one of my old fics, and I recently re-uploaded it in order to change some of the formatting and other errors in the old version. Thanks a bunch to everyone who reviewed the old one!  


  
Oh, and on a personal note -- I moved to Japan!  


  
  


As usual, I don't own GW, etc.

  
  
  


"Darkling I listen; and, for many a time  
I have been half in love with easeful Death"

-John Keats' "Ode to a Nightingale" (1819) 

  
  


--- 

  


In the dark I listen. I hear the sounds of his easy breathing and I realize that for a long time I have been in love with this boy called death.  
  


In the room we share he sleeps easily in his bed while I, in mine, remain awake. I know I should sleep (a soldier needs sleep to function properly) but I still do not. I try to think of when this feeling I have for my partner began, but I cannot come up with any specific incident. I try to think of the reasons why I find myself in this position, and while there are many (the way his hair swings behind him as he walks, the casual way in which he speaks to me, the look I sometimes catch in his big blue violet eyes) I still am not satisfied. What is it about Duo Maxwell that makes me weak like this? No, not weak, but strangely, somehow... stronger -- better.  
  


It occurs to me that I haven't really thought about how he feels. To prove to myself that this lack of thinking my situation through thoroughly is not because of any fear on my part, I immediately put my mind to it. It's possible that the American boy may return my feelings -- sometimes I think I see him looking at me with something more than friendship, something akin to longing. It is also possible, however, that the very idea would be repulsive to him should he even catch a glimpse of my feelings. After all, who could love someone as… as cold as me? Who could love the Perfect Soldier?  
  


Who but Death himself?  
  


I'm suddenly aware that I have been lost in thought, and that for some time my partner's breathing has lost its even rhythm. Is he awake or dreaming?

  


---

  


"Heero?" He says.  
  


I do not answer.  
  


"Ne, Heero? Heero?"  
  


"What?" My voice sounds harsher than I intended it to. I don't want to speak that way to him, I want to speak softly, I want...  
  


"Yes, I know."  
  


He knows what?  
  


"I do too." He says.  
  


He's talking in his sleep.  
  


"Heero." He says again, "Ne, come over here."  
  


He's dreaming... about me?_  
  
_

"Please..." he rolls over and his voice is muffled for a moment in his pillow. "Heero..." I can't stand this anymore, I have to wake him.

  


---  
  


"Duo. Duo wake up, you're dreaming." I said, taking him by the shoulders and shaking him.  
  


His eyes opened, and for a moment he gazed contentedly up at me, before recoiling back in shock. "W- what? I..."  
  


"You were dreaming." I told him. The look on his face was so sweet; I couldn't say anything more.  
  


"Oh." He answered, looking down with a faint blush on his cheeks. What kind of dream was he having about me anyway?  
  


I was suddenly aware of our close proximity and near state of undress. I was kneeling beside his bed; one hand still attached to his shoulder. He wasn't wearing a shirt and he clutched briefly at the sheets to half-cover his finely muscled chest.  
  


"I'm sorry. Did I wake you? I didn't say anything, did I?"  
  


"No." I lied, reluctantly taking my hand away. I found myself disappointed to see relief on his face. Was it because he thought I didn't hear anything, or because I took my hand away?  
  


The look on my face must have confused him because he said, "Are you sure?"  
  


"Nothing much. Just... you said my name, but I couldn't really understand anything else."  
  


"I see." He said, thoughtfully, breaking away from my gaze.  
  


I should probably go back to my bed now. I should.  
  


"I'm sorry." It was so quiet I almost didn't hear it, but he apologized to me. For what? For dreaming about me? I almost wanted to laugh -- almost -- I had been dreaming about him for so long, he didn't have to be sorry.  
  


"Don't be." I said, and stood up to go.  
  


He grabbed my wrist, and instinctively I pulled it away. "Duo, what..."  
  


"Wait, Heero, I'm sorry. I've gotta say this, please."  
  


My heart started beating strangely, and I must have looked very shocked or scared because he turned away. I heard him crying. My heart felt like it was going to break. I wished I could self-destruct.  
  


"Please don't hate me." He said between sobs, "I can't help it, I..."  
  


"Duo, I don't hate you."  
  


"I'm sorry, I never meant to... Damn it! I'm really sorry, Heero."  
  


"Duo! Will you shut up and listen to me?"  
  


Slowly, he turned to face me. I was kneeling again, and I took hold of the first thing I could for strength.  
  


"I don't hate you." I said again.  
  


He wiped the tears from his eyes. He was really crying -- I made him cry.  
  


"Really?" He said, softly.  
  


"Really."  
  


He looked up again, trying to smile. "God, I'm sorry, I was actually crying! I don't know what's gotten into me, I must be really tired or something." He said, trying to act strong again.  
  


"Duo, why were you crying?" I asked, trying to sound sincere and encouraging, but not sure if I succeeded.  
  


"Please, forget it. Like I said, I'm just tired."  
  


"What were you dreaming about?"  
  


It was then that he noticed I was holding onto the end of his braid. He looked up at me, questioningly. Unsure of what his look meant, I started to let go.  
  


"Wait." He said.  
  


"What is it?"  
  


"I was dreaming... about you. I love you."  
  


I didn't know what to say, I couldn't move. Did I hear that wrong? Did he really say...?  
  


"Aren't you mad at me? God, don't just sit there like you're made of stone! Say something!"  
  


But I couldn't say anything. My mouth wouldn't open, and even if it would I wouldn't have known what to say. My grip tightened on his hair and I did the only thing I could think of. With a tug, I brought his lips to mine.  
  


After a moment, I pulled away, scanning his eyes for a reaction. He looked... stunned. "Heero." He breathed, bringing one shocked hand up to touch his lips. "What? Why did you..."  
  


"I wanted to, Duo. I've always wanted to." I answered. I almost thought it wasn't real, that I was the one who was dreaming.

  


---  
  


"You always wanted to what?" Duo asks, hands on his hips, leaning over me as I wake up in my bed.  
  


"What?" I say.  
  


"You were talking in your sleep." He answers. "I think that's the first time I've ever heard Heero Yuy talk in his sleep! It must have been some dream."  
  


"Hn." I mumble, staring up at him. I really WAS dreaming. I can't believe this!  
  


"So, Heero, mind if I ask you a question?"  
  


"What is it?"  
  


"Just what exactly was it you wanted from me in this dream of yours?" He asked with a mischievous grin.  
  


"Wha -- what?! Why?"  
  


"Because..." Duo (the REAL Duo) bent down slowly so that our noses were almost touching, "...maybe I can give it a try."  


  
~  


  
  
  
  



End file.
